Rethinking this plan....

The Old Broad and I have recently returned from another frolic.  We had a chance to talk about how things were going with our program and neither of us is able to do the program the way we thought.  She can't do the workouts, but has a treadmill, so the running is no problem.  I can do the workouts, but I have to run outside, and it's just too blasted hot for that right now.

We are going to take another few days, consider our options and come up with another plan - or rather, two plans, one for each of us.  We've decided that I should go back to rock climbing, since I love it, we have a great rock climbing gym here, and it burns about 1,000 per hour.  (No lie, it's *that* strenuous!)  Of course, I haven't climbed in a few years, so it'll be a while before I am able to get that full benefit of it.  The Old Broad is looking into some options, to see what will work best for her with the equipment she has, and that she can do inside, because of the heat.  We'll keep you posted.

~ The Fat Kid

The Fat Kid, Day 7

Today, I am almost too sore to type.  I went rock climbing yesterday.  It was hard. H.A.R.D.  Hard!  I haven't been in a few years now, and I had forgotten exactly how much it hurts... the next day.  My forearms were sore when I was climbing, but that passed once I got off the wall.  But today.... Oh, Heavens Above!! I can barely move.  My back hurts.  My legs hurt.  My arms hurt.  Places I can't even identify hurt.  Uhg... and I was thinking I would run today.  Nope, not gonna happen.  I will make my very, very best effort tomorrow, but I make no promises.

The good news is, no smoking.  Which means (a lot) more money every month to spend on something good for me.  I'm thinking of joining the climbing gym down the road from my office.  It looks like a great place and has a lot of extra perks - like a yoga studio, which would give me a chance to stretch out these very old, tired, fat-covered muscles before I climb.  Maybe I won't hurt as bad??  No, I'll still hurt for a while, but it'll be a good hurt!!  I'll let you know when I return after next week's trip and get to see the place in person...

~ The Fat Kid

The Fat Kid, Day 6, Again.....

I had to start over at day 6......  I have been out of town and down with a cold, so I haven't done any running (or much of anything at all) in a while.  I started last night, with day 6, thinking I'd be fine.  And I was, for a while.... then I started coughing.  Which meant I peed.  On my shoe.  Stop laughing, darn it!  It was mortifying!  There I stood, in the middle of the road, in the midst of coughing fit, with pee running down my leg - and into my shoe.  Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do but keep going.  I was about half-way in my loop, so turn back or push on - it was the same distance.  All I could do was push on, squish-ily,  and hope I didn't have to cough again until I got home.

Since I use my phone as an iPod, I clicked the music player off and called the Old Broad when I was a few minutes away from home.  She laughed at me too, which I guess I deserve, since I laughed at her when she peed on herself on a walk.  We heard a loud "pop" that I guess was a firecracker, and she jumped, screamed and peed a little.  I all but laid down in the middle of the road laughing at her, so I deserved the same reaction last night.

We talked (okay, whined) to each other about not doing anything, and decided that we had to get back at it.  I gave up the cigarettes, which has been hard, and makes me want to eat pretty much everything that isn't nailed down, but I'm glad I am trying..... On the other hand, I'm mad as a hornet that I've gained 5 lbs. and now weigh in at 150.  I look, for all the world, like a traffic barrel!!  So, the Old Broad and I are back - and this time we are going to try really hard to stick with this - all the way to the end!

~ The Fat Kid

The Fat Kid, Day ?? (I have no idea any more......)

I have no idea what day I just finished, since I was doing weight training.  And by weight training, I mean I weighed myself, thought about working out and took a bubble bath instead.  I know, I know, I'm slacking off, and I was doing so good, but that trip to central PA took the wind right out of my sails.  I still haven't recovered from the sleep deprivation.  It's like jet lag - all I want is to come home from work and sleep.  So I did.  After a bath.

Anyway, I've been lagging behind on everything.  I haven't been reading the blogs I usually read every day, I haven't been reading my Psalm every night like I should, and I can't tell you why.  I'm just too pooped to pop.  But today, I saw Little Birdie Secrets has a fabulous give-away, so I am posting the link here.  I love the blog and they have the coolest ideas and stuff!!!  Thanks ladies!

~ The Fat Kid

I'm Back...

... and I'm lazy.  I didn't work out, like I had planned, while I was gone.  It just didn't seem to be that important after 1,200+ miles and 18 hours of driving.  But, I did learn a few important things on this trip:

1.  You are not going to go to the gym after you have been in the car for five or six hours, no matter what you think.  (Maybe if you were riding part of the time, but I was by myself this trip.)
2.  I, personally, am not going to work out in the mornings.  I hate mornings, and when I wake up, I don't have the energy to go to the gym.  I scarcely have the energy to grumble and make coffee.
3.  If you are determined to work out on a trip, take something, like a jump rope or weights, so you can work out in your room.
4.  If you are me, then resign yourself to the fact that you are not going to do it, and plan for that by working extra hard before you go, or planning to make it up when you get back.

Of course, having learned all these nifty things, I am going to have start up again tonight.  That means I'll be running in the middle of the bloody night, since it's supposed to hit 100 degrees here today.  Oh, goody, just what I wanted - heat stroke!!!  But it has to be done....

~ The Fat Kid

A Quick Break

I really didn't work out last night, though I think running up and down the steps repeatedly, to clean and pack, should count.  I am off on a wee vacation to the northeast.  I will be working out while I'm gone, but I doubt I will have the time or ability to post while I'm gone, so I will keep track of my progress and post when I get back.

Enjoy your holiday!

~ The Fat Kid

The Fat Kid, Days 8 & 9

(Program Details: Walk 10 min.; For 12 min., alternate 1 min. running, 1 min. walking; Walk 3 min. + Strength Training)

I am so exhausted.  Tonight I did two days worth - run and training - to make up for missing Monday's workout.  I really do like the schedule I'm on, so I worked extra hard to get myself back on that schedule.  (I have to travel this weekend, and this is a good schedule for that.)

The run part was agonizing.  And how did I end up living in the only neighborhood in this area with hills?  Big hills.  Big.  Big.  Hills.  Since I ran last night, my legs are on fire.  But I made it with only a little weeping and gnashing of teeth.

The strength training part wasn't that bad.  Like I said before, I usually work my arms and shoulders, some abs and back, but I never train my legs on my days off.  I hope I can work my upper body again tomorrow.  I may end up not being able to lift my pen at work on Friday!

I talked to P.J. today, and she said I had to cut out the carbs after breakfast, give up beer, and stop eating like a 19 year old frat boy.  (I don't even eat well enough to qualify for a sorority girl?  I'm a frat boy?  Wow, that is bad.) So I had a big ol' steak, thanks to my super sweet neighbors, and some spinach.  Mmmmmm.

~ The Fat Kid

The Fat Kid, Day 8

(Program Details: Walk 10 min.; For 10 min., alternate 1 min. walk, 1 min. running; Walk 5 min.)

Last night was Day 8.  I missed working out Sunday, due to illness.  But I'm back now, and tonight I'm going to make up for my missed day, by doubling up - I will be doing Days 8 & 9 together.  (That means running and upper-body strength training.)

I had to do laps around my neighborhood last night, since I got home from dinner with my Aunt rather late.  I should know that I won't get home on time when I go out with friends and family, but somehow, I can always convince myself that I'll be home with plenty of time to spare.... Yeah, Right!

So the Old Broad and the Spindle are off to the beach.  The Old Broad says she has missed too many days now, so she is going to have to start again at Day 1.  Let this be a lesson to you ladies, either get in it to win it, or find a simple routine that you can do even when you miss days.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm really proud of my Mom, she is really trying.  But I have made a commitment to doing this program.  Since it builds on your training, day after day, you really have to commit yourself to doing it.  I feel certain the Old Broad will be at this as soon as her flitting about with my niece is over.  Won't you, Mom???

As for the run last night - it was a great night.  We are finally out of the 19 day streak of 90+ degree heat, so it wasn't as miserable as it has been.  (One night last week, it was still 96 degrees when I went out to run, at 7:30!)  Last night was cooler, but there were a lot more hills.  My legs are still burning from them.

Finally, I think it's time to enlist the help of my bff, P.J.  (And yes, I have more than one bff - three, to be exact, all from different places and times in my life, and all loved equally!!)

P.J. is amazing!  No only is she gorgeous, but she has the most amazing body, which is logical, since she is a body builder.  Yes, she is a real live girl body builder, with an adorable (and huge) body builder hubby.  P.J. is one of my oldest friends and my go-to girl when I need advice on eating and strength training.  Since I'm not really taking off fat, I am going to ask her to help me set up an eating plan (one that is realistic, unlike so many of the "diets" out there) so I can lose some fat.  I'll let you know what she prescribes, but I warn you, it won't be fun!  Stay tuned....

~ The Fat Kid

The Fat Kid, Day 7

(Program Details: Strength Training)

Ugh.  Strength training is still my favorite part of this torture program, but today was not a good day for exercise.  The Thin Man brought me his old Total Gym, since I gave him my really nice, new one during my last move.  I worked out on the TG, which is good, because it's still 1100 degrees here, and at least I can stay inside with the TG!  I did a bunch of upper-body and back work, but I have a monster headache, so I tried to take it easy and stopped before I got too hot.  Don't want to make myself sick.

It's been a week and I don't think I've lost a single pound.  That is a little upsetting, since I really need to take off about 15 lbs., so I can wear my suits to work.  (Right now I'm just getting by in whatever I can find in the closet that isn't too tight for modesty.  Unfortunately, that means I'm dressing like a homeless oompah-loompah.  It's not pretty ladies.  I really, really need to get back in my clothes!)

But I got in about 30 min. of strength training today, so I'll call that a win.  Tomorrow we start with week two and I'm going to give the strength training program from Women's Health a try, to see if ups the weight loss....

P.S.  -  You probably won't hear from the Old Broad for a few days.  She promises me she is working out, but she and the Thin Man drove south to get the Spindle yesterday and they aren't do back in until late tomorrow.

The Fat Kid, Day 6

(Program Details: Walk 8 min.; For 10 min., alternate 1 min. walk, 1 min. running; Walk 2 min.)

So yesterday (Saturday) was day 6... (Friday, day 5, was my day off, since I had dinner plans with my lovely neighbors).  I went to dinner with a friend, then came home and ran.  First, let me say that it is a bad idea to eat a lot of food before you go out on your run day, since it makes you feel like you are going to hurl.  Second, if you are going to have a lovely dinner with a friend, steer clear of the carbs.  The stuffed mashed potatoes were amazing!  However, I was so stuffed, and felt so bloated, that my runs were really weak.  I did have some great walk time, though my legs are pretty stiff today.

Tonight is a strength training night.  More after the workout....

The Fat Kid, Day 4

(Program: Strength Training)

I feel bad for the Old Broad, I really do!  Poor thing, she not only is too sore to move, she has a headache from the heat, and worse... she has to drive to Florida tomorrow to pick up my niece and bring her back to the Carolinas for her summer visit with the Thin Man and the Old Broad.  The Spindle (my super tall, cute as a button niece, who is legs from the floor to her neck - and as tall as me at one-third my age!) will give the Old Broad a workout.  (Tee hee hee....)  The Spindle loves those fat-buster shows and thinks she is the next Jillian!! Ha! Enjoy that Mom, and keep her away from me!

Last night was a strength training night for me.  I went to get the Goddess, and we hit the gym at her apt. complex.  We did okay, but we were both really tired and sore.  (She started the program and is on the same schedule as the Old Broad.)  Her calves were killing her, and my arms and shoulders hurt, so we took it slow and light.  But we showed up.  And for me, that is all that counts in this first week.  As for tonight's run, I'll be doing it tomorrow.  This is the south, after all, and it's about eleven hundred degrees out there!  So I am taking the Goddess' advice and I'll trying moving it to first thing in the morning.

Third Day of Walking/Running

Everything and I do mean everything is sore, I would say my muscles but that would be such a lie since I don't have muscles. I can barely get out of bed and walking down the steps is torture. I hate this program what in the heck was I thinking, oh yeah now I remember IT WASN'T ME it was the Fat Kid. I can barely get my shoes tied, it is at least 90 degrees in the garage but I will do this program for the six weeks if it kills me.

Such a let down, after all the whining and complaining the walk/run wasn't so bad, I can't say the same for the stretching which was very painful. However, I did give myself a heat induced headache - but, small price to pay for a better body, lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, and the ability to wear a short sleeve shirt, right? - somebody, that is right isn't it?

Second Day of Torture

So, I thought the first day of walking/running was hard but nothing is as bad as these exercises -Oh My God, what deviant came up with that number 5, Plank with front raise? Oh and they thought even if I could get in that position that I could raise one arm. Yeah, well I could barely stay on my toes and hands much less let go of the carpet and raise my arm. I could not do some of the exercises and no way, no way could I do the reps recommended. OK, folks at Women's Fitness find an old, fat, lazy chick and let her make up a few exercises and I'll try again.

A note to anyone over a certain age that might read this and try this program, go to your Doctor and take a copy of the program with you, get his/her approval before you start.

If I can move tomorrow, I'll try the walk/run again.

The Fat Kid, Day 3

(Program Details: Walk 10 min,; For 8 min., alternate walking 1 min. and running 1 min.; Walk 2 min.)

Last night was scary.  I went for my run/walk about a quarter 'til 7:00, when it was still light out.  I have a long, flat street for my run.  It passes a little school and a few little houses, but it's mostly entrances to big neighborhoods.  Let me just tell you, that is not a good place to run!  I was about a half mile in, still on the first 10 min. of my walk, when a guy drove by too slowly for my comfort.  He was slouched down in the seat of a beater blue car with tinted windows.  I saw him, and it registered in the back of my mind that he was driving too slow.  He drove down, turned around at a neighborhood entrance, and crept back by me a second time.  This time I stared at the driver, trying my best to look angry and a little crazy-scary.  He went up to the school, turned around and came back by a third time.  Now I'm terrified.  I've gotten in one of my one-minute runs.  I'm wheezing, sweating, and because I'm scared, my adrenaline is pumping.  I come to a side street, so I bolt up it.

Okay, we already know that I can't run.  I wouldn't be torturing myself with this program if I could.  I walked up that street on the first part of my walk, so I know there are older people who are home on the culdesac.  By this point I'm thinking, "I'm freaking out.  If I dive in these bushes, will the people who live here call the police because some crazy, sweaty girl is hiding in the front yard crying like a little girl?  Is there anything laying around I can defend myself with?  Dang it, why do I have a water bottle, but nothing else?  You can't protect yourself with a water bottle, you stupid girl!"  Now you may not know this about me, but I'm paranoid.  Like crazy people, shirts with extra long arms, full fledged nutter-type paranoid.  (All thanks to the Old Broad and her paranoia.  Thanks Mom!)  But paranoia is good.  It keeps you alive.  So I'm looking for a way out of this, all the time, checking the street, looking for the blue car.  I didn't see him again, so I finished my run, but I stayed off the road, up on the grass as far as I could get.

My bff had something similar happen.  She lives in the same general area as me - a fairly high-end part of a large city, but just far enough out of town that we usually feel pretty safe.  She is a big, blond goddess.  Six feet tall, and not a girl who looks like a victim.  The Goddess was walking her pooch when she saw a guy on a bike.  He was riding by, staring at her and the pooch, and it made her really uncomfortable.  As soon as he passed, she reversed direction and The Goddess and her pooch high tailed it home, taking an indirect route, so he couldn't see where she lived.  Now, I'm not saying that The Goddess, or I either one, were in any real danger, but we were uncomfortable.  The hair on the backs of our necks stood up.  That is your instinct.  Listen to it!  It will keep you safe....

I have some suggestions for you.  All things I've learned myself, from friends who are police officers, and from some fellow paranoids:

1. Don't ever run or walk in an area where you can't get to people quickly.  Stick to populated neighborhoods, where people are out in their yards.  If you live in a neighborhood where people don't go outside and aren't all that friendly, then find a track, or a mall, or someplace safe.  (I'll be running in the neighborhood from now on.  It's really, really hilly, but I'm going to deal with it.)
2. Carry a whistle or some way of drawing attention to yourself.  Don't think you can yell for help.  By the time I sprinted up that hill, I couldn't catch my breath enough to choke out words, much less scream bloody murder!  But if I'd had a whistle (which I'll be getting tonight), I could have blown it, because I was panting hard enough to get the whistle to make noise.
3. If you can, run with a partner.  There is safety in numbers.
4. If you are on a road with no sidewalks, run against traffic.  At least you can see what is coming.  And when a truck, van or car comes, move up on the grass, as far as you can from the road.  You don't want to be within arm's reach, in case someone tries to stop and snatch you.
5. Always let someone know when you leave and when you get back.  (I live alone, so I text the Old Broad when I leave and call or text her when I return.  If she isn't around, or has plans that night, I'll tell my bff.  The Goddess watches out for me anyway, so she'd freak if she didn't hear back in a few hours.  And she lives a lot closer than the Old Broad.)

So those are my suggestions.  If you have any other safety suggestions for us, please comment.  I can tell you that I threw me off the rest of the night.  I was jumpy all night.  And the adrenaline rush took hours to abate, so I was wired until after midnight - not a good thing when you have to get up for work early!

Stay safe out there, and I'll be back tonight with weigh lifting updates!

~ The Fat Kid 

The Fat Kid, Day 2

(Program: Strength Training)

So I did my first day of strength training last night.  It was great.  I had a date last night.  Yes, thank you, thank you, I know, it's been a while....   And after a lovely evening with a sweet man, I stopped by my bff's house to gossip and pick up some yummy veggies.  After all the fun, I went home and weight lifted and toned for about half an hour.  Because I used to spend a lot of time in the gym working my upper body, it didn't really feel like I did anything, but I'm sure I'll feel it tonight.

I should say, in case you don't know me, that I love weight lifting.  It makes me feel good.  Strong.  Empowered.  Unstoppable.  Muwahahahahahahahaha..... (Sorry, got off track a bit there.)  But because I love weight lifting, and hate cardio, this plan works great.  I can do something I like on the days off from the horrible running.

Tonight, we run.  Or walk, and shuffle along making whimpering sounds and call it running.

The Old Broad's first day

Well, today wasn't soo bad! The "thin man", sometimes known as my husband, cleaned the garage and removed all the junk off my treadmill. So I'm thinking how sweet, I'm really anxious to get started so I hop on - take a few quick steps and to my shock fly off the end of the treadmill, slamming into the front fender of the car. What I didn't see was that the 'thin man' cleaned the tread on the thread mill with some sort of silicon, or something - anyway, it is really slick! Not the best way to start the day, but now that I'm awake I'll try to follow the instructions. While my treadmill is really old it does have a timer so that I can walk a minute and then run a minute, in my case it's more like a sad little jiggly-jog. But I think that the timer is defective because the running minute is way longer than the walking minute.

I checked out the exercises for tomorrow, they look horrible ............how long does this take?

The Fat Kid, Day 1

(Program Details: Walk 10 min.; For 6 min, alternate walking 1 min. & and running 1 min.; Walk 4 min.)

Today was my first day doing the Women's Health running program.  I am supposed to be able to run for 30 minutes straight by the end of the 6-week program... if I live that long. Okay, ladies, I have learned some important things in only one day.

1. Never. Ever. Ever. Wear. A. Thong. Ever! ('Nuff said?? I thought so.)
2. Find a way to carry your keys, phone, whistle, whatever it is you carry when you run.  A bra is not for storage of sharp pointy things or electronics.  Stuff falls out, gets wet, or worse, pokes you in your ta-ta. (Or is one just a "ta"?)
3. Don't get too excited in the first few minutes of the walk and push yourself too hard.  You will pay for it on the first one-minute run. And the second one.  And the third one.  And for many hours after.
4. Finally, one minute doesn't sound like a long time.  But it is forever when you are trying to run with an 800 lb. gorilla sitting your chest.  So be prepared, cowgirl up, and just count down the time until the agony ends and you can go back to walking. 

So I did it.  I know, no biggie, right?  But for me it is.  It isn't that I'm in such terrible shape, but I'm lazy and I smoke.  (Oh, and there is that fat thing, which doesn't help.)  So for me to get motivated enough to get off my tush and do anything, much less try to run, is pretty darn impressive, wouldn't you agree, Old Broad?

~ The Fat Kid